At age 24 right after I completed my studies at College I met a very nice guy in church. The friendship developed quickly and soon after we were talking about getting married. I knew at the time that this would be a life long commitment and wanted to make sure I was making the right decision so I decided to sought the Lord.
Like Gideon, I asked God for a physical sign. I remembered praying in my mind as I didn’t want to say it out loudly fearing the devil would manipulate the outcome (Back then,I was naive in my thinking). I prayed “Lord, if this is the man I am suppose to marry, please let him wear this particular shirt (I described the shirt to God that I saw my fiance’ wore one time before). We were suppose to go out for dinner that evening and low and behold he showed up in the said shirt.
Believing this is the confirmation, we got married and was told by our guest that it was one of the most beautiful ceremony they have ever attended. One person even told me that they could see in the spirit, while my husband and I took the communion, our spirit joining as one. As time passed our marriage flourish, we had two wonderful sons and became financially successful. We were a poster family.
In the twelve year of our marriage, things between my husband and I turned for the worst and due to infidelity we eventually got divorced. I was so angry with God. I could not understand why He would let this happened to me after I believe I received His approval to marry this person. The pain of divorce was like none I had experienced, not even when my mother died I felt this much hurt and pain. During my life I have always find comfort and strength in God to get me through some very bad situations but now I am angry with God so I could not bring myself to find comfort in Him.
As my pain intensified, my anger grew as I could never understand why God would let this happen to me. I remembered once while I was having these thoughts and emotions I heard in my spirit a still voice that says “God did not break His vows to you, do not blame God for the action of your husband. Your husband broke his vows and covenant, your husband is the one who didn’t keep his promises.” The voice continued to explain that my husband walked away from God and because of free will God allowed him to do so. I now understand that I in the same manner, no matter how painful, will have to let my husband exercise his free will to walk away from me.
The truth is when there is a motor vehicle accident even fatal ones, you rarely hear anyone blame the manufacturer of the vehicle for the fault of the accident. The blame is placed on the driver who is at fault. Then why do we blame God the Creator for what men (creation) do. God has given us free will and sadly the choices of others will sometimes affect us. With this revelation I let go off my anger towards God and began to trust Him to help me to get through the situation. He has proven to be faithful even in my faithlessness and kept His promise to give me peace in my trials. Trust God to do the same in your situation. He will do it simply for His name sake.