Moving forward after infidelity

There comes a time when you have to draw the line and say “I have had enough” and move on with your life. Of course, this will not happen overnight but with consistency and perseverance you can put the pain behind you and embrace love and life again.

You may also like to read Surviving Infidelity

Do not waste your time trying to make sense out of what happened or try to rationalize your cheating spouse’s behaviour or sympathizing with him or her is pointless.  It is never okay to go outside of the relationship to solve problems within a relationship.

Here are some suggestions to help you move forward:


1. Work on forgiving yourself – You may think that you have made the biggest mistake in your life by marrying your spouse because if you didn’t you would not be in so much pain right now. It is human to make mistakes, learn from them and use the lessons to improve your life.

2. Forgive your spouse – If you forgive the person who hurt you, you no longer need to wait for the person to right their wrongs.  You free yourself when you forgive.

3. Practice releasing regrets – understand that you will never get the time back, you may never get a sincere apology, and you will never get another moment to make a different decision.

4. Create separation and reconnect with who you are outside of a relationship.


5.  Recognized and replace fearful thoughts with positive ones.

6.  Realize first and foremost that no person is responsible for your happiness.  Your life is a reflection of your choices.  Therefore it is a waste of energy to project blame or resentment towards your spouse. You are responsible for your own happiness.

7.  Use mindfulness and stay in the present to break yourself from thinking about the past.

8.  Stay busy and do not allow yourself to be paralysed by grief or wallow in self pity.

9. Do not replace your pain with people.  Spend time alone with yourself.  Just hang out with yourself.  Now is not the time to get into a relationship as pay back to your spouse or a way to ease the hurt.  Instead let time heals.


Remember there are benefits to moving on.  When you let go, you give yourself peace and opens up yourself for new possibilities.

And the day came when the risk to remain the same was greater than the risk to change….. It is, after all, the only hope for the cocoon to become the butterfly.