Posts Written OnJune 2016

After infidelity, trust must be re-earned

A friend of mine always says, “Monogamy is unnatural.”  If it is, then why does infidelity hurts so much? Along with shock and disbelief, the spouse that has been cheated on will also experience feeling of lack of trust towards her spouse. In time, one usually gets over the initial shock and disbelief but somehow the feeling of mistrust seems to linger for a very long time. When I was cheated on, I experienced feelings of anxiety each time my ex cell phone would ring; if he answered I wondered who he is talking to and if he doesn’t I…

Make yourself remember

Judges 8:34 “They did not remember the Lord their God, who had rescued them from the hands of all their enemies on every side.” In the Book of Judges, it is repeated several times that each time a Judge died, the children of Israel  would turn their back on God because they forgot what the Lord had done for them.    Many Christians today repeat the same action of the Israelite when they become fearful and faithless when faced with a new trial. Do you remember when you were going through that financial situation and God provided?  When you were experiencing pain from disappointments, hurts and betrayal,…

God wants your obedience not your help!

    There are times in our lives when we have set our eyes on a prize and is determined to get it no matter what.  Then we find ourselves constantly pushing and fighting to make it happen. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labour in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” God may remove someone from our lives and we keep chasing him/her; He may close a door and we keep banging on it or using life support systems to hold on to a position. However, we need to allow God…

Value the Valley

Don’t we all wish life was honky dory!  If only there were no disappointments, no down days and things go exactly the way we want them.  However, take an honest look back on your life; do you pray more and connect to the spiritual when life is going great or is it when life is difficult?  It is unfortunate that man tends to neglect the need for God when life is comfortable and even more unfortunate that often times it takes a bad situation to force us to seek the face of God. No one, including myself like the valley experience…

Divorce and loneliness

One of the consequences of divorce is loneliness; at least it is for the partner who is not already in a relationship.   Loneliness couple with pain can lead to making wrong relationship decision if you are not careful.  It is during this period that you have to make an intentional effort to resist the temptation to use people to replace your pain. In the past, I have observed a beautiful and educated young lady who soon after her separation got involved with a man in the community who is well known for having affairs with multiple women.  At the time, I questioned…

Disobedience leads to a defeated life

One observation I have made of some Christians is that they make choices that are in direct contradiction to the Word of God.  Then they would complain about how things are not going right in their lives and even at times wanting to question God as to why these things are happening to them. In Judges 2 :14 the Bible talked about the disobedience of the Children of Israel and how as a result God delivered them into the hands of the plunders, so they could no longer stand before their enemies. Some situations we face are self inflicted as a…

Whatever you sow you will reap

In Judges 1:15 the Bible talk about Adoni-Bezek, A Canaanite King who was pursued by the children of Israel.  When he was captured they cut off his thumbs and big toes.  Adoni-Bezek exclaimed, “Seventy Kings with their thumbs and big toes cut off used to gather scraps under my table, as I have done, so God has repaid me.” Because God is patient, many people nowadays think that they are getting away with wrong doing.  However, God’s patience must never be mistaken for His approval.  For the Bible clearly states in Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A…

All great changes are preceded by chaos

  “Snakes shed their skin to allow for further growth and to remove parasites that may have attached to their old skin.  A snake sheds anywhere from a couple of times a week to once a year depending on its size, age and health. The entire shedding process lasts for several weeks. The skin begins to turn dull and gray when a snake is preparing to shed.  Snakes are uncharacteristically aggressive during this time because of their vulnerable state.  Rough objects are commonly used to assist in the shedding process; it uses the rough object to anchor the old skin as it does…

Trust yourself again

More than once after I shared the story about the events that led to my divorce, I am asked “didn’t you see any sign that your ex is that kind of a person?” or they will comment “you must have seen some red flags.” I honestly saw no red flags or I may have totally missed them, I had no idea my ex has that side to him.  As a matter of fact, I thought he was one of the sweetest people.  I was totally blindsided and I believe this is why the betrayal was so painful. ften times when…

When the nice Christian guy turns out to be not so nice

Throughout my walk as a Christian, we ladies are constantly reminded that we must not be unequally yoke with unbelievers.  The premise, I suppose is that when two Christians get married the marriage has a greater chance of surviving than the marriage of a believer to a non-believer.  As a result, many Christian women compromised looks, status and education to marry a nice Christian guy. I was one of those women who got married to a nice Christian guy.  Twelve years into the marriage, my Christian husband demonstrated behaviours that were far from Godly and the marriage subsequently ended in…