Throughout my walk as a Christian, we ladies are constantly reminded that we must not be unequally yoke with unbelievers. The premise, I suppose is that when two Christians get married the marriage has a greater chance of surviving than the marriage of a believer to a non-believer. As a result, many Christian women compromised looks, status and education to marry a nice Christian guy.
I was one of those women who got married to a nice Christian guy. Twelve years into the marriage, my Christian husband demonstrated behaviours that were far from Godly and the marriage subsequently ended in divorce. I have also witness other Christian ladies suffered the same faith, not just in my local church but also in the wider Christian community when news of allege affairs of well-known ministers, musicians and other famous faces, break. Usually if there is restoration to the church of these Christian men – it is with them marrying a new and most times younger wife and the ex-wife is left to grow the children while dealing with the pain of betrayal, shame and the overall let down by the church.
Since my experience, I question the whole “unequally yoke” concept preach by the church. Is one believer marrying another believer the main ingredient for having a successful marriage? In a group discussion, I was once told by an advocate of the “unequally yoke” message that one of the reason for her wanting to marry a Christian man is that he will lead the family in devotions and other spiritual matters. It has been a proven fact that in most Christian families, men fall short of being the priest of the home. With all this being said, is there any incentive for a Christian lady to marry a Christian man as oppose to her marrying an unbeliever?