More than once after I shared the story about the events that led to my divorce, I am asked “didn’t you see any sign that your ex is that kind of a person?” or they will comment “you must have seen some red flags.”
I honestly saw no red flags or I may have totally missed them, I had no idea my ex has that side to him. As a matter of fact, I thought he was one of the sweetest people. I was totally blindsided and I believe this is why the betrayal was so painful.
Often times when one is betrayed, it is tempting to question one’s judge of character and if not careful can prevent you from entering into a new relationship because you doubt your ability to choose well.
Whether you saw red flags and choose to ignore them or you were blindsided; there is no point playing the blame game or try to figure it all out. Instead, forgive yourself, make peace with the decision that you have made and brush yourself off. What is done is done and no amount of regret is going to change that. Hopefully, you are made wiser by the experience.
Understand that it is human to err and be open to the idea that you may make more mistakes because sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your prince. Just don’t rush, try not to be co-dependent or depend on a relationship for your happiness.
Most importantly, do not let what was done to you ruin your life. Allow God to turn it around for your good. Choose life, choose to move on, choose to love again and most importantly learn to trust yourself again.